Christmas decluttering: one woman's inner dialogue
Captain's log: 6 am. On a Sunday morning in the hottest of all Augusts. The year is 2015. The place is my attic. The mood is ... well, let's just say "subdued".
I am knee-deep in komono (miscellaneous categories in konmari) and already sweating profusely in the beyond-warm conditions. I am facing five bins of Christmas stuff. Or maybe it was six. What follows is my inner dialogue as the pre-konmari me of years past and as the konmari me on that Sunday
The pre-konmari me every December:
"Ohmigersh, I am so late decorating. I haven't saved any of the ornaments the kids made. Wait, I take that back. There are a few but I just threw them in the boxes every January so they are all broken now. And the kids ... they are so embarrassed by their homemade ones that they ask me not to hang them.
"Oh and that tree?!? Grrrrrrrrrr. It takes the entirety of ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ for me to get that nasty, shedding thing assembled.
"And the dorky linens. And there’s no door decorations. I’ll just assume none of these lights work. I have no ornaments and no lights and barely a tree. Face it. I just suck when it comes to Christmas. I am just not a holiday person. I like regular life. My house will never look festive like my friends’ do.
"I will just grab this first box I see with ‘Christmas’ on it and I will put up whatever is in it. Ew. Is that … a smell?”
The me doing konmari that August morning:
“Ohmigersh. There are five or six boxes here. This first box – that’s the one I usually take. Ew, what is that smell? Ok, no cause of alarm … just a cinnamon stick or … something … that went a little south.
"Ah, here are the broken ornaments the kids made; those don’t spark joy. Out. And you know, these handmade ornaments are not their best work either … I can kinda see why they were embarrassed by these.
"These linens are also out. Out, out, out.
"Second box coming up. Hey, these ice-cube-looking snowmen are adorable! And these shoeboxes are full of ornaments my mom gave me and they are kinda quirky, kinda cute. But I gotta touch ‘em to be sure. Oh! Oh! Oh! These are officially joy-sparking. I love these ornaments my mom sent years ago! Why did I never use these? I guess because I didn’t realize they were up here. And these perfect linens! And here are some CUTE-CUTE-CUTE ornaments the kids made!
"That tree is going to the curb and I am finding a new one. Notevengoingtosaygoodbyetoit. And these wreaths! When did I get these? Do these lights work?” *plugs them in* “YES! EIGHT STRINGS WORK! I don’t have to buy lights this year! YEEEEEAAA!” *carefully packs everything away in found tins with found tissue paper*
“I don’t suck at Christmas! I don’t suck at Christmas. In fact, I am great at Christmas! I just didn’t know it! Bring on December!”